An Open Letter to the Taco Bell Cashier That Complimented My Mom Bun:
Photo Cred: Favim.com
On Monday I went through the Taco Bell drive through, the same one I had visiting the Thursday before. Taco Bell twice in a week, probably isn’t the best but I’m pregnant and cravings are the real deal! I ordered the same thing, a number 8 with a Diet Mtn. Dew, with a side of cinnamon twist! I’d just left an OB apt, because they were concerned I was leaking amniotic fluid (we’re ok though)! When I get to the window, I see the same young girl that collected my money 4 days, prior. What occurred next, would leave me grateful and crying as I pulled away.
Preface, I have been exhausted, this pregnancy is really taking its toll on me, and my emotions are all over the place. On this day, I wore my hair in a mom bun, something I’ve rocked for a solid 2 years, other than special occasions (though I did rock a bun on my wedding day, too). I’ve learned to accept my mom bum for what it is. I haven’t felt the most attractive, with a bulging belly, dark circles, and the minimal makeup I throw on (only so I don’t frighten people)!
The young girl that took my money, looked at me and said “oh my gosh, I love your hair, it’s so cute”! The compliment caught me completely off guard and I stuttered as I said “oh… um, thank you” as a small smile crept up my lips. I couldn’t believe she complimented my crazy mom bun, I was so thankful and I didn’t even express to her how much it meant. But let’s be honest, if I started crying and said “that’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me, in a while” I would probably seem creepy. Yesterday, as a result of her compliment, I got up and did my make-up, then I put on actual clothing (not yoga pants) and I proudly plopped a big ol’ mom bun atop my head! The Taco Bell cashier gave me the motivation to do it, with her kind comment.
So to the Taco Bell cashier, I have some things I’d like to say to you!!
First off, I’m sorry that I didn’t catch your name, next time I visit I will be sure to ask! I’m not sure if you’re a mom. I’m not sure if you could see in my eyes, that I was having a rough day, that I was exhausted and felt completely unattractive, I’m not sure why you complimented me. What I do know, is I’m thankful that you did. You may not and probably have zero idea, that you made my week.
I always wear my hair in a bun, sadly. I just don’t have the time or energy, to “do” my hair every day. I’ll be real with you, there are days where I don’t even brush it. On those days, I tug my fingers through the tangles and throw my bun back in. Because of you, I won’t be as self-conscious every day, when I sport my mom bun. Because of you, I’ll look in the mirror and say “nice bun momma, now go kick some SAHM ass”! Seriously, all because of you.
There was nothing special about my bun, it looked the same as the one I was sporting, the day prior, and the day before that, and the day before that, and well you get the point. But your comment, gave me confidence. Right there at window number 2, as I waited for my three crunchy tacos and cinnamon twist, something shifted in me, thanks to you. I’m rocking my bun as I type this, proudly and confidently. This is day two of putting on real clothing, something besides yoga pants and I’m proud of myself!
But really I’m proud of you for being kind, in world where most are too busy to be. For slowing down and seeing the little things. The little things being me, a regular, 31 year old, struggling momma! I’m proud to see a young woman working, where many don’t. I’m thankful for our interaction, the one where you articulated a small phrase, while I sounded like a blubbering idiot.
You see my mom bun means a little more to me now. You saw past the exhausted mother of 2, with another on the way. You saw past the dark circles I wore around my eyes, past the bulging bump of my belly and it was so great! Most days I feel like only a mom, who wipes butts, and wipes faces. I’m just the mom who makes snacks and rushes forgotten homework to the school. I’m just the mom that needs caffeine and a break, the one standing in aisle two debating on which peanut butter to buy. I’m stretched thin and I rarely take care of me. That means forgoing showers and hair straighteners and rocking a mom bun! To tell you the truth, I hate my hair. It’s short and thin, I wish my bun was bigger and fuller, I wish it was better. But you saw something else, something cute!
On Monday, you saw past my insecurities! You reminded me that I’m more than a mom, I’m a woman. Remembering that for even a moment, was more critical than I realized. You see, my children (who are 2 and 12) understandably don’t tell me that my mom bun “looks so cute”. My husband, God bless him has seen me wear this mom bun for longer than I can truthfully admit, I don’t expect him to compliment it. But coming from you, a complete stranger, it meant more than you’ll ever know.
Whether you said it only to be kind or to make small talk while I waited, or maybe because you saw in my eyes a woman who had long forgotten about the girl she once was. Whether it was because you too are a mom and saw I’d forgotten that I’m more than just a mother, I’m a woman too. Or maybe you were having a similar day. I may never know why you said it but thank you, so much for doing so! You are a good woman, you build other women up and you will always be important to me.
The next time I see you (I will thank you properly) I will likely have my bun, because you reminded me that it’s okay to wear it and to do so proudly!! Thank you, Taco Bell cashier, for impacting me in a way, I didn’t know a Taco Bell cashier could!
(A Grateful) Taco Lovin, Mom Bun Supporter
Note: This interaction happened last week and is being posted later than I wanted… Cause, mom life, ya know?! Better late than never