Confessions of A Stay At Home Mom.
There are myths about us unicorn creatures, us stay at home moms. Lies that spread like 7th grade gossip. If I’ve heard one, I’ve heard them all. I just wanted to let you know, my life is super glamorous and easy as a SAHM (insert sarcasm), actually it’s quite the opposite! Also I don’t spend my mornings sitting in Starbucks sipping lattes, with my girlfriends, with my Chanel bag topping the table, though that does sound quite lovely! I actually haven’t stepped foot in a Starbucks in like 6 years, yes seriously.
Basically I just want to debunk the myths that circulate, this is not to bash working moms, so don’t even go there. I just continuously hear things or see things said to other SAHM that are always inaccurate depiction of how we spend our lives. And do you know how everyone of us responds? We nod and laugh, we blow it off, we sent crying/laughing emoji’s and roll on with our glamorous day! Why? I don’t know, because it’s easier than speaking up, because we somehow feel inferior to working moms, there is a lot reasons, in my opinion. Maybe it’s just because we’re too damn busy and tired to have “that discussion”. So we laugh and nod. Now, I’m here to speak up!
Side note: I am in no way stating that I dislike and wish that I wasn’t a SAHM. I love my life! I didn’t choose the SAHM life, the SAHM life chose me (kinda)!
Myth 1: Being a SAHM is hardly a job.
Confession: First of all I may not punch a clock, but that’s cause I am on duty 24/7, 365 days a year. I don’t get sick leave, vacation time, a lunch break, or benefits. What I do IS work though, I wear the hats of many trades all day long, every day. A stay-at-home mom is the hardest, unpaid job, in this world… If you believe otherwise, try it out for yourself!
Myth 2: SAHM wear yoga pants cause they’re too lazy to put on real pants, plus it’s not like they even need to get dressed, they probably don’t even want to.
Confession: Wrong, wrong, and wrong. Full disclosure, I love me some yoga pants, I mean come on, they’re stretchy and amazing! I’m not too lazy to put on real pants, but why would I when my day is going to be full of cleaning house, wiping butts, playing on the floor, wiping snotty noses and God knows what else?! Let me ask you this, why do nurses wear scrubs, or CEO’s wear suits, why do servers wear non-slip shoes? I’ll tell you why, cause that’s what is required for the job, that’s way is functional for the position. My yoga pants allow me to do my job, to the best of my ability, a lot more so than a pair of jeans and stilettos’! By the way, why does it matter if I wear yoga pants?! Trust me I lobe putting on “clothes”, little dresses, cute outfits, and on the days I do, you best believe we are leaving the house, even if it’s to go to Wal-Mart. Because, effort, ya know! I DO want to wear “real” clothes, it’s just most days it’s not exactly practical. I mean if you could wear yoga pants every day, wouldn’t you?
Myth 3: SAHM just hang out with their girlfriends all day.
Confession: In my dreams… I have too much other shit going on, to just sit around and gossip all day. If fact, I never knew how isolating and lonely being a SAHM was, until I became one. I don’t blame it all on being a SAHM, though. I also suffer from social anxiety and depression, which is only makes things worse. Plus it is totally hard to make new mom friends, like seriously… That goes for working SAHM. Quite frankly I don’t get out nearly enough and when I do, it’s not to meet the girls for coffee or lunch!
Myth 4: SAHM choose to be SAHM, they just don’t want to get a “real” job.
Confession: This one is so far from the truth for me. I miss working, having daily interactions with people that are taller than a foot and have more to talk about than Paw Patrol. For my family it made since for me to quit working and stay home with our 2yo, Type 1 diabetic. Once we are comfortable sending her back to daycare, my SAHM status will change. I do soak up every moment I can while this part of life is happening, though. Every family is different, daycare is outrageous and sometimes it’s more expensive to go that route and just doesn’t make sense to! But I am in no way avoiding a “real” job, this is just what makes sense for our family, these days!
Myth 5: SAHM are so lucky, they just get to hang out with their kids all day.
Confession: I do feel extremely blessed and lucky, to have this time with my children. But somedays I feel like the most unlucky lady, alive. There are days that my husband walks in the door from work and I walk right out that door, just to breath, to sit down for the first time, that day. It can be really challenging being a SAHM. It has its perks, but just like with anything, it has it disadvantages on some days too. I love my kids, but I reach my limits as well. I just need a minute, like anyone. Sometimes I hide in my closet, or the bathroom. Some days I spend an entire nap time doing nothing but scroll through Facebook, because I just need a break.
Being a SAHM is beautiful, chaotic, lonely, and fun, sometimes it’s all of these at the same time. Somedays I would pay someone to let me come to a 9-5, just to change the monotony of my life. Other days I just want to snuggle with my babes and take it all in. What I want to say, is please don’t look down on, belittle, or bash SAHM’s. We have feelings too. And though we aren’t running corporations, we’re running our households 24/7 and that counts for something. It’s harder than you think, to do what we do! And you know what, sometimes we love our lives just the way they are and other times, you may see us crying in our car in the Target parking lot, because it’s just all too much.
Whatever type of day we’re facing, we’re doing the best we can, with what we got! So next time you see an exhausted mom, holding back tears, in aisle 5, assume she’s SAHM and give her a wink.. Even better, tell her “she’s got this”, because I promise you she isn’t getting nearly enough of the praise and appreciation she deserves. Let’s build each other up, instead of break each other down. Stay at home moms, deserve recognition too!
A Stay at Home Mom